


J E A L O U S Y

by Sailor_Saccharin



Series: Ad Libitum [3]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Choking, College, Daddy Kink, Dom/sub Undertones, F/M, Fanfiction, PWP, Pet Names, PoC, Reader Insert, Real People Fanfiction, Romance, Smut, age gap, degrading, kpop, monsta x - Freeform, student
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2019-04-24 14:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14357775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailor_Saccharin/pseuds/Sailor_Saccharin
Summary: Your boyfriend is a jealous man and with you being a full time college student and him being a full time idol of course there's a lot of conflict going on.{Yoo Kihyun x College!Reader}{NSFW}{Part of Ad Libitum series}





	1. Prologue: An ode to how he loves you.

**Author's Note:**

> Warnings: dom/sub undertones, dirty talk, slight daddy kink, orgasm denial. 
> 
> Head cannon: Kihyun is a switch but even when he's bottoming he's a power bottom. He must be in control, always.

Yoo Kihyun is not a man to be played with. He owns you body and mind. The pain he brings you rains on your soul as if it's Amegakure. You love it though, love the way his hips rut against yours, the way his fingers bruise your brown skin as if he is an artist and your body, his canvas. 

But he can be gentle too. Amongst his-quick-to anger and quick-to-argue attitude is the spirit of a man who will give you the world should you ever ask for it. His touch is gentle when he wakes up next to you, his eyes cloudy when he must depart for tours or long-standing practices or music videos or comeback stages, but he holds you gently when he returns to you. He makes it known that he loves you through gifts and homecooked meals. He shops with you complimenting how pretty everything looks on you if he's calm. However, if he's horny he will run his hands down your hips and curves and tell you how badly he can't wait to get you home and etch his name into your uterus. 

"I love you." The sweetness of his voice lures you into a trance. You sing a song familiar to the both of you, something you've written together, and you harmonize perfectly with him, high notes and all. He turns the crockpot on low, letting the food cook slowly enough so that you have time to yourself before dinner. 

Kihyun smiles, kissing the top of your head as you sit at the table looking through your textbooks, "I love you so much. Please let me have you." He groans against your ear. You nod, telling him to take you for all you're worth. You'd give your soul up for this boy if it means he'll let you come just once. He motions for you to stand up, and when you do he takes your seat before pulling you into his lap. 

"How do you want it baby girl?" he whispers against your throat as he sucks a bruise into your skin, "Do you want me to pound into that sweet little cunt of yours until you're begging for me to let you come or do you want me to take you nice and slow until you're crying for me?" you moan softly at the feel of his hands running up your sides and his lips on your burning skin. 

"Anyway you want me Kihyunnie." He groans as he tongues the sweet spot on your neck. You moan wrapping your arms around his neck, so you have some sort of balance while you grind down on him. Kihyun shifts his weight so that he can take you into his arms and place you on the nearest flat comfortable surface. 

"We should go into the bedroom, yeah?" You suggest sucking on the spotted flesh of his neck. You want to mark him. You know he won't like it though, Starship Entertainment won't like it, Monsta X won't like it. However, at this moment you don't care what anyone thinks or feels. Kihyun is yours to do with as you please. If they see the marks, they can kick rocks, you need the fans and the company to know Kihyun belongs to you, only you.

"Baby, no don't do that. You know better." He's between your legs, sliding your pants and panties off. He thumbs at your clit and you squirm, "You know that we don't leave visible marks. If you want to suck I can give you something to suck on." He chuckles a bit as you throw your head back into a moan. 

"Please Ki, please." You beg him to touch you further than just rubbing your clit. He's quick to respond as he juts two fingers into your slick heat. The sound you make is ethereal. You're beautiful when you submit your Achille's heel to him. He wants to destroy you, destroy you for looking so pretty, destroy you for making him swoon.

He presses a kiss to your closed eyelids as he works your poor body. You cry his name when you feel his soft lips on your clit. His tongue works you in tangent with his fingers. You feel as if you'll burst at anytime and in response you pull his hair. He moans against your heat as he takes the sweet bud between his lips.

 

"Ki! I can't, I can't! Please don't stop." You cry out desperately. He listens as he sucks on the lips of your sex, running his tongue between your folds to drive you wild. He's relentless as you scream into the sheets. You feel your first orgasm knock at the door, but he denies it entrance. You whine in frustration, especially at the look of amusement on his face. 

"Baby..." he coos at you. His voice disgust you with how sweet it is. You know you're going to suffer, he always makes you suffer. He's quick to strip himself and let his erection stand forward. His deft fingers wrap around his cock until he beckons you between his leg, "I told you I had something for you to suck on." You are more than obedient, eager to please the man who beds you until you can no longer feel your body, "You know I always keep my promises."

You're quick to run your tongue across the length of his dick. It twitches, and you repeat the action until Kihyun is gripping your chin in his hand, "Don't play with me little girl or I'll fuck that little pussy until your stuck on stupid. I'm warning you." The threat has a feeling of fire swelling in your loins. As much as you want to tease him right now it wouldn't do your education any good to be withering under the ghost remnants of Kihyun's touch. 

So, you obey and take his length into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you bob your head to the rhythm of a song only you hear. Kihyun moans, his pleasured voice as beautiful as when he's singing a song, "Ah fuck that feels so good, if you let me fuck your throat. I'll reward that pretty little body generously." His words ignite a fire in the pit of your stomach. You look up at him, mouth full of cock and eyes wide. He knows you'll let him do anything he ask to you, why he still asks is beyond you both.

He starts off gently, a deft hand gripping your curly hair. You gag against him as he gradually picks up speed. He gives you hell while he tears your small throat apart. Your eyes water but for him you would suffer a thousand times pain, "You look so pretty taking me like this. You make me so proud to be yours baby girl." He draws his dick from your mouth before tapping it against your lips a couple of times. It is soaked with your saliva and slick against your lips. 

"Kihyun I need you." You whine as he strokes himself in front of you. You don't want it to end this way, with him coming on your face and leaving you high and dry, "Please Ki, I've been such a good girl today." 

"Good girls tell their daddy exactly what they want." He smirks at you, running the pads of his fingers against the tip of his dick, "You want daddy to fuck that little pussy stupid? Hmm? You want me to make you come on this dick? Want me inside that sweet little cunt of yours, making you scream my name against the walls of this dorm room?" Kihyun ask you, stroking himself faster. You nod profusely, reaching for his dick, trying to push him over so you can sink down on him and fuck yourself on his cock until you come. 

"Ahhh no baby. No, No,No. You know better than that, use your words or do I have to remind you how?"

"No, I'm sorry. I just need you so bad. I need you inside me, please I'll let you do whatever you want, please just fuck me. I need you, please please please." Kihyun takes you into his lap pressing a chaste kiss to your lips before he pushes you face forward, "Ass up princess." You obey. A loud whine escapes your lips as he takes forever to fumble around with the condom and slip it on. 

"Patience is a virtue. You'll get what you want, I haven't forgotten about you pretty girl." You whine as he rubs his dick between your sensitive folds, teasing you with that pot of gold that you've been searching for since he started this treasure hunt.

"Please Kihyun, I can't wait any longer. I need you and only you. Only you can satisfy me, I won't accept anyone but you!" you cry to him. Your plea isn't heard on deft ears. 

"That's right baby girl." He groans as he pushes himself into you, "That's so fucking-ah- right." His hips snap into yours maliciously. He wastes no time with the usually slow pace he goes at, instead he's fucking you as if you're slipping through his fingertips. Your body can't handle the way he's taking you, you struggle to remain up and Kihyun uses your hair as leverage to fuck into you more. 

"Come on baby. Handle me. You wanted it so badly and now you can't take it?" He teases you, releasing your hair and pushing your face into the mattress. You moan so loudly that you're sure someone will call and RA and file a noise complaint. You don't care though; your mind focuses only on Kihyun and what he's doing to you. 

"Kihyun I'm gonna come, please let me come? Please daddy?" You beg him through clench teeth. His fingers find your clit and rub on it, driving you wild.

"Go head princess come for me. Show me how good I make you feel." He leans over, sinking his teeth into the back of your neck as he fucks into you. Your body screams and suddenly, your orgasm hits you so hard that you feel as though you might pass out. Kihyun fucks you through it relentlessly, milking your body for every single cent it has before he comes after you. 

He's slow to pull out dragging one last moan and whimper from your lips, "You did so well pretty baby." He coos, taking the condom off and tying it before throwing it in the trash. 

"I'm proud of you." You only groans in response. He slips in bed next to you and presses a loving kiss to your neck, "I want you like this every day." He cuddles your exhausted form knowing you both have a good eight hours before the stuff in the crockpot finishes. 

"Kihyun you can have me like this every day." You whisper through a voice hoarse from screaming. 

"I know, and I will. Just wait on it." 

He presses a quick kiss to your temple before the softness of his heart beat lures you to sleep.


	2. In which you are jealous of Goodbyes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: angst, smut, dirty talk, dom/sub undertones, sad endings, public sex, dub con (?)

“Knock it off, brat.” Kihyun pushes your hand away from his thigh, aggravated by your consistent need to jump him whenever he is preparing to leave “You won’t like what I do to you if you don’t.” You pout while keeping tears at bay. Him leaving is always an emotional time for you. He hates saying goodbyes too. They’re painful but as a celebrity he must do his job as a public servant.

“Kihyun please.” You whine, taking his fingers between your own. He sighs and presses a kiss to the flesh of your temple, “I can’t watch you leave again. Monsta X just went on tour a year ago.” Kihyun wipes a stray tear from your eyes, sighing through his nostrils. His departure is always painful for you both no matter how many times you go through it. You wish somewhere deep in your heart that he wasn’t an idol, wasn’t so talented that he must leave you every other month or every other summer. Then you instantly regret ever having the thought, because this is something Kihyun enjoys and has always dreamed of. 

“I know baby, but I have to. You have school anyways, I’ll be back like two months after you finish this semester. You can wait around for me can’t you...?” He reassures you. You’re not having it though, you’re sick of losing him. Sick of seeing him flirt with fan girls, and sign autographs with that innocent smile of his. Sick of having to put your time with him on hold to sell him off to Vlives, Weekly Idol tapings, and randomly scheduled on stage performances. You never can have your possessions to yourself and that angers you beyond words. 

“You don’t have to go, you have a choice Hyunnie.” You whine, tightening the grip on his hand. He hisses at you before snatching out of your grip. 

“I do have to and that’s that. I will be back, and you know this. Nothing can keep me away from you. You’re mine.” he flicks your forehead as if you’re stupid for not knowing. 

“Will you touch me then? Show me how strong our bond is?” You whisper in his ear, kissing the lobe discretely. He groans lowly in response as you run your fingertips over his knuckles. 

“Fuck, you’re such a spoiled little brat.” He says standing up. You can see the budge against his pants and you lick your lips knowing he isn’t happy. You want him to be mad though. You need him to carve his presence into your skin the best way he knows how, “Get up. Come on, you want it so badly I’ll give it to you.” He leads you to a family bathroom, locking it and turning on the fan before he smashes his lips against yours.

“I spoil you too much when I’m here baby girl. You act like you don’t have manners anymore, like your demands are my top priority.” He hisses against your neck. His lips suck a hickey into your skin. You moan loudly and Kihyun presses a hand over your mouth.

“Shut the fuck up.” His tone is harsh as he undoes his belt, letting his pants and boxers slide to his ankles, “You’re always so fucking loud when we’re in public. Do you want to get arrested for public indecency or rather is it the fact you want everyone to know how well I fuck that pretty pussy of yours?” He growls at you. You moan at the wetness that pools between your legs. 

“Didn’t I tell you to shut the hell up? Since you’re so hardheaded I have something to shut you up. On your knees brat.” You’re too slow for his liking so he pushes you down. Your knees are bruised from the moment they touch the cold tile floor, but you’re quick to suck Kihyun up, quickly bobbing your head up and down. You’re eager to make up for angering him.

“Shit.” He groans, throwing his head back. His hands grip your head dictating your pace. The feel of his dick hitting the base of your throat is painful and you fight against his grip. He growls, thrusting his cock down your throat, your thrashing only serves to turn him on.

“You wanna act like a bitch, then I’ll use you like one.” He states before releasing your head. You fall forward on your butt, the saliva from your prior occupation pooling on your lips.

“Baby…” Kihyun groans, thumbing the head of his cock. He’s at a loss for words, astonished at how beautiful you look being used by him, “Let me fuck you?” He groans in pleasure as you stare at him, wide eyed. He didn’t have to ask you twice. You’re quick to bend over the sink, giving the idol full access to your body. He smacks your ass, you squeal, which in turn has Kihyun pulling your hair harshly. 

“Shut up or the next time I have to tell you that, you won’t get anything from me. Understand?” You nod your head the best you can in his tight grip. His threat is an idle one, you both know this, you’ve dragged him this far and he’s going to finish you off. You must bite into your tongue to stop a particularly harshly sound from coming from your lips. Kihyun has no mercy, thrusting into you delightfully quickly. His hands find there way to your clit, thumbing the sensitive bud. He isn’t wasting anytime, there’s no teasing just unadulterated fucking. He bites into your neck, close to coming undone. 

You know this little game of yours is up because you feel his cock twitch inside your, “Kihyun! Please Kihyun, can I come? Let me come with you!” you beg him as he lifts one of your legs up. You’re quick to wrap it around his thin waist. 

“Don’t ask me for shit. You don’t deserve it you spoiled brat.” He groans as he thumbs at your clit harder. He’s suddenly leaning on top of you, tonguing your neck and laying sloppy kisses on your back. You’re falling apart quickly but you know if you disobey Kihyun then he’ll be quick to punish you when he gets back. He won’t forget, he never forgets you or the sin that is your body. “You think you have the right to ask me to let you come? Hmm?” 

“No! But please Kihyun I need this so bad. If you’re going to leave then at least allow me this before you go.” You cry out. His hips slap against yours faster and you know he’s only a couple thrust from his climax. 

“[F/n]. Fuck, come for me baby. Show me how you fall apart. Show me who makes you sin like this, who owns you. “He groans, digging his nails into your hips. You’re both there. You, clinging to the sink for dear life as your orgasm nearly has you blacking out, and Kihyun, who is trying desperately to fuck you both through your orgasms. 

“Kihyun! I love you! I love you so much. You’re the only one I want, you’re the only one who makes me feel like this. I don’t want anyone but you. Please, I love you.” Your strumming the thin line into oversensitivity as Kihyun spurts his hips against your body one last time.

“You’re ridiculous.” He groans pulling out of you. You both notice the lack of a condom but don’t say anything about it. You have an implant anyways, it was too risky not to have one with the way Kihyun fucks you, “But I love you.” He’s quick to redress, hoping he doesn’t reek of sex. You follow suit, smoothing out your appearance but the blossoming hickies on your neck are a tale tale sign of your deviant activities. 

 

_____________________________

“Kihyun.” You try to hold back tears as he presses his lips to your forehead. Goodbyes are the hardest for you and the entirety of Monsta X hates seeing you fall apart everytime. 

“We’ll be back soon. I promise!” Wonho tries to comfort you. They all have so much love for you it hurts to see your little family leave, but it tears you apart more so because Kihyun must leave with them.

“I will do Aegyo if it makes you feel better?” Jooheon tries. You sob silently against Kihyun’s warm chest, knowing it will be a while before you see him again. 

“I’ll call you the moment we land princess. I’ll call every time I have a chance. I promise.” He whispers against your ear, “I love you. I love you so so so much okay? Don’t forget it, you’re mine, don’t you ever forget that, okay?” He struggles to hold back tears because he needs to be strong for the both of you. It rips him to shreds every moment he’s not able to hold you in his arms after a stressful concert. Hyungwon, being the only other member with a girlfriend, understands that pain the most. 

“Hyung, we have to go now.” I.m says softly. Kihyun bids you one last kiss as he pulls away from you. You refuse, taking in his scent and the curvature of his body against yours. 

“I have to go baby. I love you.” 

And with that, he’s gone with the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CQC: comments, questions, concerns?


	3. In which you’re jealous of distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning : phone sex. Sub/switch Kihyun, degrading. Angst,

Three days. Three days since he’s called you, three days since you’ve heard the sound of his voice, three days you’ve cried. 

You find Kihyun again through his solo songs, No Mercy performances, and dance practices. He looks amazing in his solo cams, face controlled as he focuses on perfecting each move.

You find Kihyun through the shirts he’s left over at your dorm, the coffee mugs he’s drunk from, the sheets he last slept on. It isn’t enough though, if you can’t have him present then you can at least hear the sound of his voice. Sometimes insecurity creeps up on you, wondering if he found someone more geared towards him, someone better than you.

Another idol maybe. Closer to his age, not a college student who spends majority of their time stressing over dumb things and eating 25 cent ramen from the grocery store instead of cooking the food in her fridge.

You miss him. You miss the way he cooks for you when he finds out you skipped a meal. The way he holds you when you’re overworked with the assignments given to you. You miss his nicknames, how sensitive he is, how chubby his cheeks are. How his lips remain parted in every photo in your phone together, how swift he is to steal a kiss from you when you’re not looking. How much he nags you when you want to jump him instead of finishing an assignment. How much his arms are around your waist, he’s always touching you. Kihyun loves touching, he needs to physical contact.

But most of all,

You miss him in his entirety. Your fingers hover above his name in Kakotalk, wondering if it’s a good idea to even ring him. He could be in America or Japan or London where the times are completely different. You miss him but you don’t want to disturb him while he’s resting. He deserves a break every once in awhile.

Your hands shake but not from nervousness, from the vibrations of your phone ringing in your hand. The Hangul across the screen is so familiar you nearly throw the phone in shock.

“Hello?” Your voice shakes with excitement. You can't wait to hear him, speak to him, listen to the sweetness of his voice.

“Baby...”his voice is low and husky and excitement quickly escapes into concern.

“Are you okay Kihyun? What’s wrong?” You asked hurriedly. You hear something odd in the background and Kihyun groans softly.

“I miss you. I need you here with me, I can’t take it anymore.” He moans into the phone. It’s a beg, a plea, a whimper, a characteristic trait resigned to the switch that is Kihyun. As much as he loves to dominate you, he also likes to be dominated, to be controlled. 

“What are you doing Yoo Kihyun?” Your voice is wavers slightly when you hear his shallow breathing, “Where are you? Are you thinking about me, what are you thinking about, tell me baby?" you plead gently.

“Fuck baby, I’m...I’m.” He whimpers, his voice flushed with shame and embarrassment, “I haven’t called you because I knew if I heard the sound of your voice I’d want to come running back to you. I’ve been selfish baby girl, do with me as you see fit. Treat me like shit, I deserve it."

“Kihyun.” There’s a wetness pooling in your lower body. Kihyun is letting you be in control . He trust you, as you know his body just as well as he knows yours,”Don’t stop, but I want you to go slow, okay?” He moans your name softly.

“I wish these were your soft little hands. I need to feel you under me so badly. Fuckkkk, I miss you.” He groans. You imagine his head is thrown back as your fingers find your clit, rubbing in earnest.

For awhile the two of you trade sounds as if it's a card game. Kihyun let’s your name slip passed his lips every once in awhile.

“I need to come. Please let me use more speed?” He begs. You’re not particularly please with him though, “Stop touching yourself. I want you to imagine me spread out in front of you finger fucking myself.” 

“Fuck. I need to...I gotta...” he groans. You’re starting to feel as if fuck is the only word left in his vocabulary, “Please let me.... please let me continue...” He begs, desperately. You moan as your fingers find their way to your clit. Kihyun is silent, although his breathing audibly labored.

“Baby...” Kihyun whines. You can hear the need in his voice and the pace you’re going at speeds up. You’re playing a dangerous game with Yoo Kihyun, one that might end pretty badly for you.

“Touch yourself, but go slow.” He groans out a thank you. You wonder what he looks like on top of that hotel bed hand fucking himself to the thought of you. Your fingers slip inside, looking for that one spot Kihyun always hits.

“What are you thinking about?” You breathe through clinched teeth. Kihyun’s moans are soft and breathy,”You can go a little bit faster but you better not come until I tell you to.” You warn.

“I’m thinking about running my tongue between those cute little pussy lips. I’m thinking about fucking you into the mattress sheets until they’re stained with your tears. I’m thinking about how you call my name over and over again... princess...” He swears. You think you hear the bed squeak and wonder where the other members were at that moment.

“You better not come on those sheets Kihyun." you warn him. He chokes back another swear. You can hear the sound of him jacking off and it turns you on so much. You finger yourself faster, fucking yourself open for no reason except for mindless pleasure. The moans that exit your mouth are loud versions of Kihyun's name and various swears. 

"Yes baby girl moan my name while you get off. You're such a little slut. Tell you what, you let me come and I promise I'll fuck you real good when I get back, okay?" Kihyun's words add fuel to a growing fire. Your walls twitch against your fingers as you call his name. You wish he was here, holding your shaking legs and covering your mouth with his own.

"Yes baby come to the sound of my voice. Come to the thought of me eating that pretty pussy, finger fucking you until you're begging for it, begging for me to fuck you up. " you moan as you feel your orgasm approaching. 

"Shut up Ki...shut up. Shut up. Ahhh." your hips buck forward as your orgasm hits you in waves. Kihyun groans, your name falling from his lips followed by: 'Yes baby, good girl.'

"Please baby let me come. I need you to let me come." Kihyun begs through whimpers. He's bated you into orgasm so you figure you should do the same.

"Go head. Come. Come for me baby boy. " you hear him whimper as his orgasm overtakes him. You can imagine it, his warm seed covering his hand and stomach. His adorable parted lips and matted hair. He's always been beautiful, a masterpiece, especially when it's the thought of you that drives him insane. 

"Ah hold on baby. I'll be right back." you hear the sheets rustle and a door closing but he isn't gone for long, "Hi pretty girl, how are you?" you can hear the fickleness in his voice as if the two of you didn't just engage in passionate phone sex less than two minutes ago. 

"Hi Hyunnie, I'm okay. I miss you a lot, I'm wearing your shirt." you admit shyly. You hear him chuckle softly.

"You fucked yourself while wearing my shirt? You know better then to do things like that." his voice isn't stern in fact, it hides tones of amusement.

"I'm sorry Ki, I just miss you so much. I didn't have any intentions of doing...what we just did. I just wanted to feel close to you again." your voice is low with shame and a tinge of embarrassment. You know Kihyun's rules yet sometimes you choose intentionally not to adhere to them. He's not a very strict boyfriend ,but he is a dominant sex partner ,and he is particular about his things. 

"I know Jagiya, I'm not mad at you. I miss you too. I can't wait to come back and hold you in my arms. I want to feel you physically not just hear the sound if your voice. I'm sorry I was too selfish to call you, you must have been hurt." 

"I'm okay baby boy. I was really worried about you but tonight makes it better. I need to get some sleep. I have class in the morning. Goodnight Ki, I love you lots." 

"Ah yeah it is 3am in Korea, I forgot, sorry...time differences... Okay well, goodnight love of my life. I love you too, way more than you could ever fathom. Be safe okay, I will be back before you know it. Call you tomorrow, sleep well."

And with those final words, the call ends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be sure to leave a comment or a suggestion for the next chapter !


	4. In which he is jealous of distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: angst. NSFW

p>

Kihyun remembers your face vividly. He remembers the tears on your cheek and how he wanted to kiss them away. He remembers how you bent over that bathroom sink just so he could fuck you stupid. He misses you true, but at the same time he loves being an idol. 

When he performs, he does it for you. He wants you to always see him at his best. So, when he slips on stage, he knows you're going to blow up his phone, or rather he hears it being blown up, currently. He tries to ignore it until the end of his services as an idol, but the phone seems to be hell bent on getting his attention. 

"I'm okay love. The stage was just a little slippery." Kihyun chuckles at your worried tone. Ten missed calls was enough to have you calling Wonho and Shownu and demanding that he pick up the phone at once. They even had to pull him away from autograph signing, so he could answer your call. 

"Are you sure you're okay? If you're not okay, you need to come back home now!" You lecture him. Kihyun rolls his eyes to the back of his head as the rest of the Monsta X members snicker. Their Kihyun getting a lecture is always a sweet taste of revenge, revenge for all the nagging and how quick to anger Kihyun is/does. 

" _Home, huh?_ . Where is home, baby? Is it with you in that college dorm or is it in Korea?" He teases. Kihyun can hear your cheeks flush in embarrassment.

"Shut up Kihyun. I was only calling to check on you because I saw how you slipped on stage and I don't want you injured again, but never mind." He knows you're pouting and he absolutely loves it. He wishes he could be there to kiss that pout right off your lips. His kisses would make you smile and then he'd pull you on to his lap and tease you about how adorable you were.

"Baby...I'm fine okay. I love you, go back to class." Kihyun says through a light-hearted sigh. He ignores the snickering of his band mates as he talks to you, he'll deal with them later. His focus right now is making sure his girlfriend doesn't have an aneurysm because he slipped on stage. 

"Okay...I will call you to check on you later. I don't like you getting hurt." Kihyun desperately wishes he could be there to kiss the tears away, the tears he knows you're crying. He can hear your voice wavering and the occasional sniffle that you try to cover up to seem tough. Kihyun already knows you're tough but he also knows you value his safety and health above your own, trust that it's the same for him.

"Okay. I know you don't, but I need you to stop crying princess. I'm fine now, I've got to go. Talk to you later, love you, Bye." Kihyun waits for your response before he ends the call. He turns to his group members, annoyance etched into his features. They laugh despite knowing that they'll have to deal with the wrath of their hamster.

"Stop crying princess." I.m mocks his Hyung. 

"I said I'm fine~" Wonho joins in the teasing. Kihyun's face flushes in embarrassment before telling them to shut up and go back to signing autographs and stop worrying about his love life, unfortunately no one in the group really listens and continues hounding the vocalist.

~~~

When Kihyun gets back to the hotel, he immediately heads to the bathroom to take a shower. As he strips his clothes he notices the bruise forming on the side of his ribcage. It stings a bit, but he feels that if he tells you he's injured you'd freak out. That's the last thing you need, a reason to be stressed out as if classes aren't stressing you out enough.

As Kihyun steps into the hot shower he thinks of how you'd react to see the bruise on his body. He thinks of how soft your lips would feel on his forehead, on his neck, on his chest, on the bruise on his ribs, and he moans aloud softly. He misses you so badly it hurts, but the tour was almost over. Just a few more months and he'd be back to babysitting you full time, back to cuddling, and back to sex.

Sex... 

Kihyun needed it. His body was pent up and stressed out from working. His thoughts were filled with nothing but how your toffee colored skin looked pressed against his golden beige complexion. He groaned when his hands quickly found his half erect cock. 

It was embarrassing to feel so weak from just the mere thought of you. Yet at the same time he could almost feel the ghost sensations of your warm little mouth on him. Hear the soft sounds and mewls you made from him when you begged for him. 

"I need you [f/n], I need you so badly right now." He whispers to no one in particular but he hopes you're thinking about him as much as he is you. He pumps himself slowly taking in the feeling of pleasure. He hasn't had to masturbate in a while now and the feeling is somewhat shameful but at the same time it's a delicious type of sin. One that makes him throw his head back as he picks up the paste. Kihyun feels his brain buzzing with dopamine, there's a knot quickly building in his stomach and he cups his balls with his free hand to feel even more pleasure. 

"Fuck..." He groans as he feels himself coming on his hands. If you were here he would have made you clean it up with your tongue and you would have eagerly done it. He smiles at the thought of you sucking the come off his fingertips. You're disgusting in only ways that he knows about and that prides him, as it should. You're the only one that makes his head spin like this, that makes him weak enough to touch himself with a room full of guys just a door away. 

It's pathetic how much you've emasculated him, but he loves it. He's free around you, free of social constraints and judgements. 

However, thinking of you makes Kihyun feel empty. He loves his 'brothers' but they aren't like you. Monsta x always has the pleasure of being around Kihyun, he is theirs, but to you, he is just a rental property, a loan. You need to give him up whenever Starship demands it, and he must leave without hesitation. He wishes he could take you with him, the fact that he must leave you behind to possibly be swept of your feet by another man, pains him.

Kihyun quickly washes up and gets dressed for bed, ignoring the joking of his band mates and instead opting to go to sleep early. However, Wonho is quick to notice the sadness on his dongsaeng's face. He sighs and makes his way over to Kihyun who has by now, buried himself under the covers. No one notices Wonho getting up which is good because he doesn't want to draw attention to the poor boy. He knows Kihyun would hate for the other members to see him so down. 

Hyungwon is sleeping on Minhyuk's shoulder who's engaging in a rap battle with Jooheon as I.m. attempts to come up with new lyrics by listening to tracks he's created through his headphones. Shownu is the only one of the crew who's fast asleep due to the pressure and stress of being a leader.

"It's okay Kihyun, we'll be back soon." Wonho says patting the grief-stricken boy on the shoulder. He thinks he can hear Kihyun sniffling silently, but he doesn't say anything more for awhile, just sits by him for comfort, for the brotherly love Kihyun needs. He knows Kihyun loves you as if you are his other half and it tears him up to see his little brother hurting so badly. 

Wonho thinks Starship Entertainment sending them on tour for so long when they are aware of the members relationship status is evil. 

As Wonho whispers sweet nothings of encouragement, for a minute Kihyun thinks he hears your voice reassuring him through Wonho's words. 

He whimpers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~~
> 
>  
> 
> Hey you guys so I think this officially wraps up the Kihyun Touring Saga, so the next few chapters we should be getting back to the usual good stuff. I hope you all are enjoying it and please leave any questions, comments, or concerns that you have!
> 
> Much Love Monobebe's <3


	5. In which he's jealous of distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: dirty talk, choking, fluff, mild thigh riding, 
> 
> A/N: This turned into fluff towards the end.

Warning: dirty talk, choking, fluff, mild thigh riding, 

A/N: This turned into fluff towards the end.

~

It's just past twelve a.m. when Kihyun enters the airport. He's tired and hungry, but his mind is elsewhere. 

He just about snaps on the check-in lady as she takes a long time doing the customs check and documentation. Shownu ruffles the poor boy's hair to calm him down, but everyone recognizes the anxiousness of their vocalist. They knew from the moment he stepped off the plane where he was trying to get to, going to get to: Home. 

Hyungwon is the same except he's not as transparent as Kihyun. Hyungwon can hide his ongoing excitement through sleepy gazes and silence. Meanwhile Kihyun wears his emotions on his sleeve. He's never been good at hiding how he feels but that's what makes him so valuable. 

Within light speed Kihyun is at baggage claim. He can't wait any longer, he needs to feel your skin, your lips, your life force. He shoots a quick text to the MX group chat, letting them know that he won't be coming back tonight.

Hyungwon does the same, except he's not as transparent.

—-

When Kihyun walks into your dorm, he is utterly exhausted. However, exhaustion cannot compete with the feeling of excitement that writes itself in his bones. To him, exhaustion is just another word in Lacan's theory, it doesn't exist unless manifested upon.

However, Kihyun is a very jealous man. He's also explosive. A terrible combination, especially coupled with his on-going lack of sleep. 

You've had to stop Kihyun from brawling a couple of times on your behalf because the poor boy is so sensitive and protective when it comes to you. He hates seeing you being disrespected or seeing a guy try to pick up on you. He just wants you to feel safe and protected when you're with him, you tell him you do but he doesn't need to use his fist to reinforce it. Although the fact that you stopped him still usually causes an argument between you two. 

You and Kihyun fight a lot, as Kihyun is quick to explode, he is also quick to calm down. You are also quick to become aggravated, however your aggravation will often last throughout the day, or week, or month if it gets to that point. But Kihyun always coaxes you back to him through kisses, chocolates, and many apologies. He's weak to you and your angry face, he'll let you do whatever, get away with whatever if it just means you will forgive him. 

Except infidelity. 

So, when he enters your dorm and peeps a younger male in the kitchen microwaving a cup of Maruchan Ramen, his blood boils. 

He is beyond hurt. You are his everything. 

Kihyun storms into your room, slamming the door behind him. His arms crossed, face red with anger, but his eyes are blue with hurt and betrayal. He can't help but notice how beautiful you are though, dozing off with your laptop on your lap, a cup of hot chocolate sitting on the nightstand next to you, the lamp illuminating the dark room and making your face glow lightly.

Fuck, he's so whipped.

Hearing the harsh tone of someone calling your name wakes you up instantly, making you almost drop your laptop. "Fuckin' Min Yoongi! God how many fucking times do I have to tell you to knock—Kihyun! Oh my god Kihyun! Jagi, you're back already, I thought your plane wouldn't land until tomorrow?" Getting up, you start to make your way toward him. Your eyes glaze over with unshed tears. But Kihyun isn't in the mood for hugs, he holds an arm out, stopping you in your tracks.

"Who is that? Who is Min Yoongi?" Kihyun ask through clenched teeth. You sigh and roll your eyes at your boyfriend's jealously. Walking  toward him, you force his hand down and kiss him softly on the lips. 

He can't resist you, he's weak to your charm, even through your infidelity you still weaken him to the core. His lips work you into a frenzy quickly. You're so dizzy that you have to dig your fingers into his bicep to stay standing.

"Hello to you too Ki." You roll your eyes as Kihyun kisses your cheek, "I see you didn't get my text messages." You say between kisses. Kihyun sucks a hickey into your neck ignoring your words. You try to keep quiet, but your boyfriend is hell bent on making sure you're loud. It's clear he want the man to know that he'll never ever make you feel like he does. 

"My phone died on the plane. You better have a good reason for why I come here and there's another man cooking instant ramen in your kitchen." Kihyun states, while unbuttoning his shirt. You want to play around with his emotions but a part of you knows that's evil. Although, he's just as evil for leaving you for all these months.

"He's a close family friend, Kihyun. I've known him since grade school. He needs a place to stay until he gets back on his feet. If you put your phone on the charger, you'll see I explained everything." You grab your phone showing the Kihyun the long text message explanation of why Min Yoongi was staying with you. He doesn't care anymore though he believes your words without a doubt. Besides you're loyal and lying isn't your forte. He can read you like a book.

"And he has to stay here?" he plops down on the bed pulling you in his lap. He attacks your neck with bites and kisses, leaving marks on your sun kissed skin. 

"I'm the only family he has in the area. He's in BTS anyways, a rapper. You'd probably get along with him if you got to know him." Your words waver as Kihyun's hands run along your sides, searching for the hem of your shirt. 

"I've miss you baby. I've missed your body. The way you feel under me, around me. I'm going to make you cry pretty girl. Fuck him being here. I don't care, I'm going to fuck you silly, sore, out." Kihyun growls in your ear. You moan as you feel your shirt slip off your body and bra fall to your lap, "I'm gonna leave you hurting baby."

"Is this all I am to you Ki, sex?" You ask through a whine as his hands find your exposed breast. He tweaks your brown nipples between his thumb and index fingers, making you moan softly, "Is that why you came here? To fuck?"

"No, you're good sex." He jokes. He loves you outside of sex, of course he does. You just like to rile him up and tease him sometimes. You have to though because Kihyun is such a serious lover you think he forgets that sex is supposed to be fun, loving, and passionate. 

"Oh, I'm just good sex huh? Not great? I see how it is." You pout.

"Shut up. You know you're great and I'm not going to play 21 questions with you tonight. I want to fuck you and believe me, I'm gonna fuck you right." Kihyun kisses you roughly, before his lips wrap around your nipple. You almost cry out at the sensation. It's been so long since you've felt this type of pleasure. 

Kihyun quickly snakes his arm around your waist to keep you from falling when you throw your head back. His mouth and hands trade places every few minutes until your nipples are glossy and swollen. 

"Baby..." You whine, feeling his clothed erection against your short shorts. He lets you grind against his thigh, bouncing you up and down occasionally, for his own amusement. You think you'll come from just riding his thigh with how sensitive and needy your under-stimulated cunt is.

"Feel good Jagi? You gonna come baby? You gonna come from just riding my thigh?" Kihyun whispers against your neck. You answer him with a moan. He pushes you over on top of the pillows, quickly moving your laptop out of the way, before yanking off your pants and panties. 

You gasp when his thumb finds your clit, ghosting over the bundle of nerves, killing you softly. "Please..." You whine. Kihyun answers your prayers with haste, shoving his middle finger inside of you. His finger works you into another world and in response to all your gasping, he adds a second. 

"Does he know I fuck you like this? Hmm, why did you invite him knowing how I fuck you, how loud you get? You can't even keep yourself quite enough to not get noise complaints from your neighbors, did you really think this was a good idea?" Kihyun nips at your collarbone, removing his fingers to rub at your clit.

"It's not like I expected him to come waltzing in here Ki." You breathe through your nostrils as this man knows no such thing as mercy. He kisses a path down your body until his lips meet your clit. You moan at him to hurry up and Kihyun shushes you before harshly sucking on your clit. You bite on a nearby pillow to hold back the scream that leaves your being.

Kihyun is unforgiving when it comes to eating you out. He teases you with kitten licks and cycles between sucking on your clit or stroking it with his fingers. Your hands find his fading peach colored hair, tugging on the silky locks, begging for more. Your boyfriend reaches a hand up towards you, one that you quickly take into your own, the other stays glued to his scalp. As you hold his hand you notice how his fingers are softer and slimmer than you remember, something has changed. You don't say anything about it though.

"Baby you're hurting me." His voice is only a whisper as he tongues you down. You only offer a moan in response before loosening your grip slightly. Kihyun chuckles, sucking on your labia before kissing it gently. You can feel your body tightening as the boy cycles between licking you up, fingering you, and sucking on the head of your clit.

"Kihyun. Oh my god, Kihyun. I'm about to come." He feels your legs quivering around his head and pulls away. 

"Not yet baby. Not yet okay?" His voice is softer than you remember too. He looks small, as if he's lost some weight. He notices the concern on your face when he leans into to kiss you, "What's wrong?" 

"You look different." You admit as you sit up, helping him remove the rest of his clothes. 

"I lost a little bit of weight." He admits shyly. You frown at him, not knowing if you like him losing weight. You loved Kihyun's chubby cheeks a lot, the chubbiness of his fingers, the little pouch on his tummy "You don't like it?" he asks, eyebrow lifted slightly. 

"It's not that. I just loved your chubby cheeks a lot...They were fun to sneak kisses on." You tell him, taking his length between your hands. Kihyun groans when you move your hands gently along his manhood. 

"Baby are you jealous? You think I'm going to get a lot more attention now huh?" Kihyun smirks at the pout on your face. He knows you like the back of his hand. Now that he's become slimmer and toned his body some he's sure to get even more attention, "My baby is so cute when she's jealous. Now show me how cute you look with my dick in your mouth." You palm his length before taking him into your mouth.

"Ahh fuck, I missed that pretty mouth of yours." Kihyun grips your hair, dictating your pace. You suck on him with the passion of a sinner, rubbing your tongue along his tip and using your hands for the places your mouth can't reach. He loves seeing you pleasuring him and rewards you by shoving two fingers in your cunt as you suck him off. You moan against him prompting him to flex his hips against your throat. 

You've only given him head for few minutes before he asks you to let him fuck you. 

"Yes baby...Please." Kihyun slides into you with ease making both of you moan simultaneously. He presses a kiss against your forehead before resting his own against yours.

"I've missed you so much." He breathes against your lips. You kiss him, letting your tongue run against his bottom lip. Kihyun's thrust are slow and calculated, making you whimper every time he flexes his hips. 

"Shh. Shh baby." Kihyun is left breathless with each kiss. He shushes you as your moaning and whimpering gets progressively louder, more desperate. 

"Please Kihyun! Please go faster, I need you baby! Please I need to come." You beg, tempted by the frustrating bubble building in your stomach. Kihyun knows how impatient you are but teases you a bit more before lifting your leg to re-angle himself. When he speeds up you think that you're in an entirely new plane, a new galaxy, a new bring. He's ethereal, merciless, He is yours. 

You grip his bicep, arching your back as you throw your head back into the sheets, "Oh Kihyun...Oh my god yes Kihyun!" Your eyes close as if you're trying not to focus on how beautiful Kihyun looks right not. You can't help but to notice though, especially when he starts rubbing your clit. 

"Yes baby, say my name. Let them know who fucks you like this. Who baby? Hmm, answer me, who fucks you like this?" When you don't respond, Kihyun grabs your cheek, turning your head to look him, "Open your eyes and look at me when I'm talking to you, I've taught you better than that baby girl." When you open your eyes they're glossy with fresh tears. He hums something inaudible before kissing your forehead. 

Kihyun thinks you look so beautiful as he fucks into you, uses your body. He rubs your clit faster drawing louder cries of pleasure. He's pretty sure he hears Min Yoongi knocking on the door but ignores it. 

"Fuckkk! It's you Kihyun, it's always been you, it will always be you, always. Please baby let me come, please please please!" You manage to string a sentence together as tears spill down your cheek. 

"Hold tight baby, I'm almost there ok? I'll let you come soon. I know you can handle a bit more, I know you can baby." Kihyun bides you as his hand wraps around your throat, not hard enough to hurt you but hard enough to restrict your oxygen flow. 

"Okay Ki, just please hurry. I can't hold on for much longer." You cry out taking his bottom lip between your teeth to suck on. He moans loudly, tightening his grip around your neck.

"Mmm beautiful girl, come for me. Fall apart." Kihyun whispers in your ear, grabbing your hand. You squeeze it tightly as the both of you come together. Kihyun's whine is something you think you like entirely too much as you feel you may come again just from hearing it. Kihyun chuckles a bit, kissing your head again before pulling out of you. 

"I missed you so much." He whispers kissing your earlobe softly before taking you into his arms. You laugh and take his hand in yours for the third time tonight. You think if you don't touch him he may slip through your fingertips again. The tears spill from your eyes as you clutch him tighter.

"Baby you're really trying to hurt me today." He jokes, kissing your cheek this time, "I'm not going anywhere for a while okay? You have me for good minute this time." He doesn't think he can't keep his lips off you for a second, so he continues pressing kisses to your cheek, neck, hands, anywhere he can reach without having to move too much. 

"You say that everytime you come back..." 

"I can't promise you the future neither can I give a direct estimate of time, but I can guarantee you I'll be here tomorrow. I just got you back, think I'm gonna let you go again?" 

"Kihyun...You're getting a little reckless you know. This is the second time you've forgotten to wear a condom." You pinch his cheeks softly, they're still a bit chubby.

"I know, it's the heat the moment, I get so caught up in pleasing you and trying to get into you that I forget." He laughs shyly before turning to face you, "You're still on birth control right though?"

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that... Next month it'll be time to get my implant removed and I was thinking about stopping birth control all together. I'm in my final semester and you know you're 24 and all and I'm turning 21 soon...I just feel as if I'm ready Kihyun. It's up to you though, I'll stay on it if you're not ready. I mean obviously I'm not going to get it removed and instantly try to get pregnant after the fact. I just wanted to be ready for when we decide we want to take that step...y'know." Kihyun listens your ramblings before offering his own input.

"I'm okay with what you decide. We're not getting any younger, but I do want to wait until we're married though. Is that okay with you?"

"Of course, Ki−Wait you want to marry me...?" you're taken aback by his statement. You knew Kihyun was head over heel for you, but you weren't aware of the fact that he was seriously considering marrying you.

"Did you think I was kidding when I said that I would have you every day pretty girl? You're mine, I won't ever let you go and I'll be damned if I ever let another man take you from me. I love you way too much to ever see you be with anyone else. It would kill me. I'd give up Monsta X for you, leave Starship, anything you ask if it just means I can be with you until my last moments on this earth. " 

"Oh Kihyun, it's the same for me. It always will be. You're mine also and I'll be damned if I ever see you with another woman. I'll never ever let you go, so whenever you're ready to get married and start a family, I'll be ready with you. I love you Kihyunnie, I love you so so so much, from now into our next life and the next life after that, until the end of this world. Always and forever."

"I love you too. Just wait on it for a little bit longer okay?"

"Mmm"

Kihyun holds you closer to him, listening to your sounds of your soft breathing and sneaking kisses every once in a while until the both of you fall asleep.

 

~ 

 

Leave a comment/review

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments plz


	6. In which you’re jealous of a fan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: power bottom/switch Kihyun, slapping, Dom/sub, dirty talk, choking, praise kink

“Good morning baby.” Kihyun’s voice is laced with sleep as he wraps his arms around you, hugging you from behind. You shimmy out of his grip, ignoring his presence. He sighs, leaning against the kitchen counter, watching you flip eggs over in a pan. The tension is thick between you two as no one wants to address the elephant in the room. 

 

“Will you talk to me instead of being so childish?” He gripes at you. You shuffle past him instead of responding, looking for the container of grits. Kihyun’s eyes follow you for a minute and once you’ve poured water into the pot, he grabs your wrist, “I asked you a question.”

 

“Are you going to eat breakfast?” You shoot back trying to get out of his grip. He doesn’t let you go, in fact he pulls you closer. You love Kihyun but you’re not going to let him charm his way out of this.

 

“No.” He sighs, looking away from you. There’s an apparent shame that crosses his features. A shame that he’s not too keen on admitting to. 

 

“Then we don’t have anything to talk about.” You break out of his grip and finish cooking breakfast, leaving Kihyun standing there in awe. He doesn’t want to do this again, fight you again but Kihyun is a fighter by nature. You both are. His being won’t let him pass up the opportunity to argue with you.

 

“Why are you even so concerned about it anyways, you know it meant nothing?” He crosses his arms, pouting. Sometimes you wonder which side of the coin you’re looking at: the arrogant asshole Kihyun or the whiny brat.

 

“Why do I care? Are you seriously asking me that?” You yell, popping him on the arm with the plastic spoon. He flinches at the sensation, “Because I’m your girlfriend! I’m the one that has to clean up your messes and I’m the one you come home to, the one who kisses your tears away, watches you be stressed out, makes sure you’re always looking your best. So, what do you mean why do I care?” you finish the grits and began plating breakfast. Kihyun stares at the two plates hungrily. 

 

“Eat . Me and Wonho have watched you for two days now. It isn’t healthy. You need to eat.” You tell him placing the plates on the table. 

 

“I’m not hungry!” He snaps, eyes blazing with tears of frustration. This is the side of Kihyun you hate the most. That insecurity of his that rears its head around the corner every now and then “I won’t be hungry until we talk this out. I can’t eat until we talk this out.”

 

“And why can’t you? Who’s stopping you? Who are you trying to impress? Am I not enough for you?” You walk towards him hands shaking with anger. 

 

“I’m only trying to impress you and you know that. I can’t control what the fans do neither can I predict it. I felt so uncomfortable with her kiss and I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to be hurt. But also, because I wanted to forget that something like that ever happened. I felt so ashamed that I didn’t come over here for days...I never meant to hurt you.” His head drops onto your shoulder when he pulls you towards him. He’s so short that if you were any taller you’d be at the same height. 

 

 

“Kihyun... we’ve been together for a long time now. You should feel comfortable enough to come to me when these things happen. I know you can’t control the monbebe, but it hurts more when you’re not up front and honest with me.” You stroke his hair softly, letting him cry into your shoulder. 

 

This isn’t the first time you’ve had this issue with Kihyun and every time It gets worse. It started around the same time the fans started addressing him as a hamster. You wonder what it is that makes the fans think that bothering your boyfriend is okay. 

 

“I love you Ki. Will you eat with me now? I’ll be happy even if you only eat the grits.” He looks up at you with teary eyes. You quickly wipe them away before they fall, kissing his eyelids gently, “Your body is mine anyways.” You whisper in his ear as the two of you make way to the table for breakfast. 

~~

 

 

There’s something about laying on your lap that has Kihyun feeling a bit reckless. He watches you read your textbook, studying the words on the page as if they’ve committed a crime. Tracing his fingers up your legs, he stops whenever he gets closed to your upper thigh. He’s teasing you, making sure you know he’s sorry. 

 

“Don’t try it Kihyun-ah” You warn him, glancing at him from your textbook. Something about Kihyun being with you so often is comforting, “If you can’t control yourself take a nap.” You tell him swatting at his fingers. 

 

“What you said at breakfast has really been bothering me.” He sits up, snatching your textbook from your hands. Him being in your face like this has you feeling very dizzy. This is the kihyun you like, confident and fierce. You’re quick to grab his face, pressing your lips to his. You moan in content when he swipes his tongue across your bottom lip. You deny him, instead choosing to bite his bottom lip, taking it between your own, sucking on it.

 

“Fuck.” He moans when the two of you pull away for oxygen. “I need you to show me exactly what you meant.” He whispers while biting at your ear lobe. You maneuver your head out of his grip, teasing him, playing with him, frustrating him. 

 

“Knock it off.” He warns trying to plaster his lips to your skin, once again you’re quick to reject him. 

 

“Ah Ah Ah. Didn’t you say that you needed me to show you what I meant?” He groans when your hand rest over the bulge in his pants, “You’re not acting like a very good boyfriend, especially for someone who’s asking so much.” You climb unto Kihyun’s lap, grinding yourself on him. Moaning, he throws his head back into the headboard. 

 

“Good boy.” You whisper against his throat. Your teeth sink in, not caring if marks are made or if he gets in trouble. Kihyun has pissed you off today and he doesn’t deserve your grace, “You really don’t know what I mean when I say your body is mine hmm?” You work his clothes off and soon he’s left in just his boxers. 

 

“I didn’t know you felt ahh fuck− Baby please.” He whines when you start palming him. 

 

“Do you really have the right to ask me for anything after I had to beg you to eat this morning? After letting your stupid ass fan taste what’s only mine? What about me Kihyun? What about how I feel? They only get to see you through pictures, I have to see you every day, feel you when I lay with you, hold you when you’re hurting. Not the fans, me!” Freeing him from his boxers, you jerk him until he’s a whimpering mess. He begs you to let him come but you don’t. You deny him each time he comes close to orgasm. 

 

“Fuck Fuck fuck! I’m sorry please! Please please please…I need to come please baby.” He begs, face red from frustration. You can tell he needs this, but you deny him one last time before pulling away. 

 

“Lay back. I’m not done with you.” You tell him undressing. He follows your directions to a Tee. When you hover yourself over his face, he doesn’t need to be told what to do. His arms wrap around your legs as he lays his tongue flat against your clit. Kihyun has always been skilled at eating you out but there’s something about the way he does it when you’re in this position.

 

He’s sloppier, letting his tongue run in wild circles around your vagina. French kissing it every time he hears a hitch in your breath. You lean forward to pleasure him simultaneously. The tip of his dick is swollen with arousal, needing to be empty of built of tension.

 

Kihyun’s groan is muffled in your folds when he feels your warm mouth wrap around his cock. The two of you compete to see who can make the other come first. You’re quick to throat Kihyun while cupping his balls in your hands. The poor boy is a whimpering mess, but he doesn’t accept defeat easily. 

His fingers slide into you, scissoring until he feels the tightening of your body around him. He moves his face from under you.

 

“Baby...” He moans at the feeling of your tongue running across the head of his cock, “Please…I need you.” When you don’t respond, Kihyun buries his face into your folds again, sucking and licking until you’re shaking. 

 

“Oh God Ki, don’t stop! Don’t stop! ” He grips your legs harder when you start grinding your clit against his nose. He needs you still because the trembling of your legs already makes it difficult for him to give you what you want.

 

“Come for me baby.” He groans when your mouth is back on his dick, slurping him up as you come on his face. He eats you through it, making sure you feel the most pleasure possible. When you’re finish you collapse next to him. 

 

“You’re such a good boy Ki.” You whisper trying to catch your breath. He nods, resisting the urge to stroke himself while he waits for you to get it together. He knows if he touches himself without your permission, he won’t be able to come, so he opts for kissing you, shoving his tongue in your mouth. 

 

You kiss him back, sucking on his tongue. He cups your face as you let your tongue run across his bottom lip. Pulling away from him, you sit up and motion for him to sit up with you. He obeys but not before pulling you in for a last kiss. 

 

“You’re so pretty Kihyunnie.” Your words are soft and when you sink down on him, he throws his head back. His moans are music to your ear as you ride him. His lips attack your neck, collarbone, and chest as you move against him. He loves the feeling of being dominated by you but at the same time it makes him envious. 

 

“You feel so good baby boy. I love fucking you like this, you look so cute with your lips parted like that. You like when I fuck you hmm?” He moans against your neck when you grab his hair and gorge his head back. His hands fling to your hips, holding you down as he thrust upwards into you. 

 

“Ah fuck Kihyun! You know better than that.” he doesn’t listen and continues to fuck up into you. You let him take control of the sex for only a moment before your hand flies across his face, “Listen to me when I’m talking to you little boy.” Ki hyun finds himself turned on by the stinging of his cheek and the harshness of his voice. 

 

“Baby…I’m going to fuck you up.” His warning doesn’t come quick enough as he flips you on your stomach, “Ass up.” He growls slapping your butt. You want to rebel, but you don’t want to test your boyfriend,not when he’s like this. 

 

He’s merciless when he fucks you. Gripping your hair in his palm and thrusting himself into you harshly. You feel as if you’re going to come at any moment. 

 

“Fuck, you’re a good dom but let me show you how it goes.” His hand wraps around your neck and forces your head into the pillow. You cry his name like a mantra begging him not to stop, to go faster fuck you harder. You love him when he’s like this. You love the way he owns you even when he begs you to dominate him. He’s always in control.

 

“Come on baby I feel your body tightening around me. Come for me pretty girl. Fall apart.” He bites into your shoulder. 

 

“Oh, Fuck Kihyun!” It isn’t long before your body goes into shock. Your orgasm hits you in cycles, drawing essence from you only to shove it right back. 

 

“You’re such a good girl, baby. Always making me feel so good. Always letting me use you the way I want to.” His hips slow against yours but still he’s rough with you. Your body trembles through the aftershocks of your orgasm and Kihyun is tip toing you into oversensitivity. Your eyes water and your palms grip the sheets hard enough to turn your brown skin red. 

 

“Kihyun please!” Your cries are mumbled through your sobs and the fact that your face is smushed against the mattress.

“Just hold on. I’m almost there. I know you can hold on baby I’ve taught you well.” He groans, giving you a few more good thrust before he’s coming in you.

 

“Fuck. You’re such a pretty lil’ thing.” He states, pulling out of you and drawing you into his arms, “To pretty to be jealous of a fan.” 

 

“I don’t like sharing my Kihyunnie though.” Pouting, you tap his lips lightly. He kisses your fingers softly before drawing them into his mouth. The feeling of his tongue deposits heat in the pit of your stomach.

“Stopp it Kihyun, I’m tired.” You whine, pulling your hand away. He chuckles, “Oh my god, your face is swelling up. Did I hit you too hard?”

 

“No baby, you didn’t hit me hard enough. Next time you want to have angry sex then maybe you should focus on keeping that same momentum and not letting your boyfriend take control in the middle of it.” He teases. You stick your tongue out and roll your eyes.

 

“You’ll never have to share me you know that…” He says softly, grabbing your hand to hold. 

 

“I hope that’s true.” 

~~~ 

Plz comment and review

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Per usual plz review. Thx


	7. When thoughts plauge your dreams and Vlives make you jealous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: spanking, dom/sub, daddy kink

The closer graduation and finals approach, the less you see your boyfriend. The singer makes a vow to leave you alone during finals, preferring you focus on studying, rather than him. You want him here though. Studying just stresses you out more. You find yourself desolate during late night cram sessions, leading you to tears about how you just want to keep your cum laude status. The longer you stay up at night, studying or writing your dissertation papers, the less you eat and sleep. 

Kihyun sends you text throughout the day while you make sure to keep up with him through Vlive. You notice how happy he looks, how radiant he is, how bright his smile is. He looks different without you, it’s as if he’s glowing.

The longer you stay up the more you start to wonder if Kihyun actually enjoys being with you. It’s been two years since you started dating, since you met him in the airport from your flight in. Your intention for moving here weren’t to date a KPOP idol, but rather to teach English. 

TESOL jobs paid well but you never understood just how complex English really was as a native speaker, and learning Korean was a process too. Even now you still mess up words but Kihyun works with you, laughing when he has to correct your pronunciation.

Falling in love with Kihyun started at the airport, turned into a summer study abroad program, and ended with you transferring to Chungnam National University. You remember how he asked you out: filming Monsta X-ray season 2 while in a coffee café. He took your order and slid his number across the counter, of course the scene was cut out and he reprimanded, but that was the best day of your life.

 

However, as you prepare for graduation you also must prepare to decide on your future. Do you want to stay here with Kihyun, live in Korea permanently and risk being stuck here if things don’t work out between you two?

Or.

Go home and visit Kihyun on the rare occasion you have enough money to travel back to Korea.

Both options require you to give up something. If you stay in Korea, you’ll have to give up seeing your family. If you go back, then you’ll lose Kihyun.

These thoughts make it difficult for you to sleep and when you finally do manage to fall asleep, it’s short lived. Your dreams are haunted by the same negative thoughts that kept you awake. Soon you’re shooting up, drench and in a cold sweat. You reach for the phone, it’s one am but you know he’ll pick up. You need him because you’ve had enough of these nightmares.

You know he’ll come.

You can’t take being apart anymore, being alone with this harsh decision. 

You need him.

~~~|

When Kihyun steps into your dorm apartment the first thing you do his lock lips with him. He smooths your hair, twisting a lose curl around his finger.

“You’re such a whimp. It’s okay, I’m here now.” His voice is soft as he scoops you into his arms. The couch is his destination and the only pit stop he makes is to turn on the tv. The two of you watch in silence for a while, your head flush against his chest while you sit in his lap. Kihyun is gentle like this as he knows how much of a baby you are, how stressed out you are before finals.

“You really couldn't have a nightmare a little earlier?” He teases. You don’t respond and cling to him tighter because you know in the morning he’ll just leave again, “I can’t help you if you don’t use your words baby girl. C’mon.” He coos softly.

“Don’t leave Kihyun, I can’t sleep when you’re gone.” You admit. Kihyun tilts your head up, pressing his lips to yours. You kiss him back only pulling away when you need air. 

“I thought you called me over here, so you could sleep?” Kihyun questions your motif but that doesn’t stop his hands from sneaking under your shirt to mess with your stomach.

“Who kissed who Ki?” You respond with a raised eyebrow, “Besides if you do well enough you can put me right to bed~”

“Oh, baby don’t start something you can’t finish.” He murmurs against your lips. You moved to the crook of his neck, nipping and sucking at the peach colored skin. He moans while searching for the waistband of your elastics. Sleep is thrown out the window when you bite his neck, intent on leaving your mark.

“What did I tell you about that?” His grip on your jaw is harsh but you want him to hurt you. You need him to wake you up from this horrible reality, that in the morning he’ll have to leave you all over again and in the morning, you’ll be faced with that choice again.

“Tell me about what Ki?” You flutter your eyelashes innocently, but he doesn’t buy into it.

“I came here to help you sleep but since you want to act like such a brat...” he licks his lips, pulling you over his lap, “I’ll fuck you like one.” The first slap is gentle, the second one has you crying out loudly, the third has you begging for mercy. Kihyun chuckles, rubbing the tender flesh. 

“Didn’t hear you counting princess.” He licks his lips before slapping your ass again. The pain has you shooting up as you yell out ‘one’ through clenched teeth. Kihyun forces you down by the back of your neck, holding you still, making you take it, “I told you about testing me, didn’t I?” 

“I wasn’t trying to test you daddy. I just want to feel you inside of me. Please?” You whine. He doesn’t respond taking the time to rub your clit tenderly. Every second you wait is agony, sometimes you think Kihyun is one of the evilest men on the planet. Then you remember how much you’re in love with him, how’d you choose him over the world.

When Kihyun slides into you, the answer you were looking for is as clear as day. You will always have your family but Kihyun is your soulmate. If you lose Kihyun you don’t think you’ll find someone you could ever love as much, but in loving him you have to choose his happiness over yours.

“Oh Kihyun!” You moan, placing your hands on his chest, “Let me.” 

“You better do it right or I’m going to spank you again and this time I won’t be so merciful.” You nod as you ride him. Hands flat against his chest, his supporting your waist. He feels so good inside of you, so pleasant, you feel as though you’re floating. His lips dip into the crook of your neck, decorating the skin with wet kisses. 

“You’re doing so good Baby girl, you always take me so well.” Kihyun praises, resting his head against the frame of the couch. Occasionally he rewards you with lazy thrust upwards that make you choke on a moan. 

“Just like that baby. Fuck me just like that baby girl.” Kihyun’s encouragements have your legs shaking with every movement you make. You silently plead him to take over as the need to come starts to eat at your stomach.

“Daddy I need you.” You cry out, nails scratching at his skin. Kihyun answers your prayer, hands holding you still, so he can fuck up into you. Your cries are loud and Kihyun already knows your next-door neighbors are in the process of calling the RA. He doesn’t care though, he needs this as badly as you do. You’ve been away for too long. He needs to see that face you make when you come, the sound of your voice as you cry out for him, the feel of your sticky skin when you collapse against him.

“You need me baby? Hmm? Need me to let you come, you wanna come sweet girl.” He teases as you try to grind against him. Kihyun pulls your hair back harshly, warning you to stop. 

“Yes please. I need to you.” You beg, giving him exactly what he wants without him having to say a word. 

“Come for me beautiful, say my name when you do.” The words ‘Yoo Kihyun’ fly from your lips as you explode around him. He leaves you to your orgasm, pulling out to finish himself off. He wraps his hand around his cock, stroking himself until he comes.

“Ki…” you shutter. When he gets up to wash off , you head to the bedroom. When the two of you meet again, it’s in the form of cuddles. 

“You need to seek a psychologist for your addiction to me.” Kihyun teases, kissing your nose. It’s the first time you’ve seen him flirt with you without blushing in embarrassment. 

“I’m not addicted to narcissistic assholes.” You retort, sticking your tongue out. Kihyun laughs and pulls you closer to him. 

“You sure love to fuck them though.” You attempt to pull away, but his grip on you is firm. You love the way you two can joke with each other through your shyness. 

“Kihyun I love you so so much.” You whisper against his lips. Smiling, he runs his hand down your back. 

“I love you too, and you’re lucky I do because making an hour drive at 12am in the morning is something I’d only do for you.” You roll your eyes before kissing his chubby cheeks. 

“Thank you, baby. You’re so sweet to me.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Are you feeling any better? What’s got you so stressed out?”

“You know with finals and graduation coming up I have to decide what I want to do. You know I’m not from Korea and the color of my skin already makes it hard to fit in and hard for you. I mean there’s been tons of scandals and rumors about you going on dates with a mystery girl and even having a secret girlfriend.”

“[F/n], you know none of that- “Pressing a finger over his lips, you shush him. You need to finish your speech. 

“I will always love you Ki, but I don’t want to ever think that I was the one who ruined your career in Monsta X or as a solo artist. You’ve been the best boyfriend I could ever asked for these two years. I remember when we first met, and I remember when you served me that hot chocolate over the counter. I thought you were the most handsome man I had ever seen.” 

“Stop it. Stop!” the fear and anger and Kihyun’s voice has you taken aback, “You’re not about to sit here and break up with me. After everything we’ve been through, we’re stronger then a few fucking saesangs… I can’t sit here and listen to you break up with me.” 

“Kihyun if you shut up for a moment, I’d be able to finish my thought. Damn you’re such a hot head.” You laugh, sitting up to straddle him. How he sleeps in just an extra-large shirt always amazes you and he only sleeps with the short because you keep freaking out when you wake up and he’s stark naked. He really doesn’t understand how you’re uncomfortable with waking up naked, yet you can let him fuck you stupid the night before. 

“Hurry up and finish then, you’re pissing me off.”

“You’re pissing me off with your lack of boxers.”

“[F/n]” he warns, a hand resting on your thigh. 

“Okay Okay! I was going to say that if you want me here with you, I’ll stay. But with a few conditions. I need to start working. We need to move in together, get an apartment because once I graduate in the next two weeks, I won’t have a place to stay. I need to go home for a week or so after I graduate break the news to my pa− “Kihyun sits up and cuts you off by pressing his lips to yours.

“God, I love you. Baby girl I’ve been waiting for this for years.” Kihyun snatches another kiss from you, “You know I’ll give you anything you want, just stay with me.” 

“Kihyun, I’ll always stay with you. I love you baby boy.”

“I love you too beautiful.” He pulls you down on top of him, “Now get some sleep.”


	8. In which jealousy ends and begins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: domestic fluff, asshole Kihyun 
> 
> (a/n: Please don’t fight me for this generic ass chapter lol, idk why I wanted to write this so badly.)

“Ki, please hurry up.” The sound of your voice comes from clinched teeth and Kihyun hears you loud and clear but chooses to ignore you. As he’s usually the first one up in the dorms, your room is your domain. You can’t be beat which annoys Kihyun to no end. You’re bratty when you wake up in the morning too, driving Kihyun up the wall when you are ready to get up and he’s not. So, when it’s the day of your lease signing for the new apartment you’re especially whinny. Between running around shoving boxes in the car and moving trucks and Kihyun’s need to pull you back into bed to cuddle, you’re running late.

“It’s 7:30am, calm down were still on time.” Kihyun barks at you. 

“No, we aren’t. I told you to get up at 4am. How is it that you can get up earlier than the entirety of Monsta X, but you can’t get up when I ask you to?” Kihyun knows exactly how impatient you can be, especially when your roommate is here. For a while when he first started coming over the locked door intrigued him, but he never asked about it. So, when he spies a young woman walk in while you’re cuddled up on the couch one day, things start to make a lot more sense: The second towel, the dirty dishes he stumbles across, the trash bags full of pads when you're not on your period−

“Because we don’t have to get up until late in the day so of course I’m up way earlier than them. Why are you so pushy today, I’m almost done baby girl?” −However, Kihyun isn’t the only one that forgets that she lives here. Eunji, your roommate, is usually with her boyfriend or at a party or drunk never in her room. Leading to you and Kihyun being interrupted by loud door slams and multiple phone calls telling you to unlock the door because she left her keys. It annoys you to say the least but Kihyun has no problem putting up with it because he lives with several other males. 

 

You’ve come to realize that she’s even more annoying now that finals are here. All week, she’s taken an interest in getting to know the equally frustrating Min Yoongi (as if she doesn’t have a boyfriend). You can tell by the loud moaning and groaning coming from her room that they’re well aquatinted. Since Yoongi is a guest, you had planned on letting him use your dorm until the lease expires so you don’t have to pay the moving fee, but you’re strongly reconsidering that since he’s made sure to work your nerves extra hard this week, knowing you have finals.

Leaning against the coffee table you call for Kihyun again, who replies by telling you to shut up. You're about to bite back when a loud “fuck” is heard from Yoongi. Having had enough, you storm into the bathroom, dragging Kihyun out by his ear. 

“You jealous of them? Want me to fuck you on the couch so we can show them how much better our sex is?” Kihyun teases finally realizing why you’re so angry, however there's no seriousness in his tone. You know how much a private man he is. Having sex with you somewhere where you can be easily seen is a huge no, although he's not above fucking you in locked airport bathrooms, hotel rooms, and other private faculties.

"Shut up. “You glare at him, taking the energy you could use to respond to Kihyun's teasing and instead using it to search for your keys. 

"It’s not like we haven’t fucked on that couch before. In fact, I think that’s where I gave you your first orgasm, hmm? Remember that, baby?” 

“Is it Wednesday because you’re really acting like an asshole?” You nearly pull your hair out searching for your keys when you spot Kihyun looping them around his fingertips. If you weren't so aggravated, you'd probably think that smirk on his lips was the sexiest thing you’d ever laid eyes on.

When you reach to snatch them out of his hands he holds them above you, pulling them above your head every time you attempt to snatch them back, “Yoo Kihyun I promise today will be the last day on earth you breath if you don’t put those keys in my hand Right. Now.”

“Kiss me first pouty girl.” He puckers his lips and pulls you in by your waist, snatching a kiss. You melt, anger disappearing from your being as if Kihyun had the infinity stones. He knows how you get when other people aggravate you and as today is supposed to be your day, he won’t let you leave this hellhole upset. 

“Better?” He raises an eyebrow, lips turned upwards in a small smirk.

“Yeah...better.” You reach up for another kiss to which Kihyun rewards you. His lips have always been one your favorite things, whether he’s eating, talking, singing, or kissing your lips amongst other places, you love them. 

“Love you, now be a good girl and smile for me?” He whispers, kissing that special spot behind your ear to make you moan softly. 

“Gross. You should get a room.” Yoongi scowls as he walks out, robe half open, chest out. Angered by his hypocrisy, you throw the closest object you can find at him.

"Learn how to aim sweetheart." Yoongi taunts. You’re about to lose your cool until Kihyun, seeing how heated you're becoming tightens his grip on your waist. He's not too keen on Yoongi but for your sake he keeps cordial. Although that is slowly coming to an end. 

“Stop.” Kihyun warns. The poison in his tone is lethal enough to kill an elephant. He has your face buried against his chest, stroking your back softly, “Don’t antagonize her, especially when she’s allowing you to stay here. If you keep going you won’t like what I do to you.” Yoongi holds his hands up in defense, retreating back into the room he came out of.

“Thank you...” you whisper, cuddling into his chest. He always knows how to calm you down, how to defuse a situation, how to stick up for you. Kihyun kisses you softly in response. Moments like these have you remembering why you love him so much, why you two flows so well together. 

~~

“Ready?” The anxiousness in your voice makes Kihyun smile. Moves are always a scary thing but moving in with your boyfriend is equally as frightening. So many scenarios run through your mind like: what if you break up? What if he gets tired of you? What if he stops loving you?

“I’m always ready.” Kihyun smiles, kissing your forehead softly. He doesn’t care that the entirety of monsta x is standing in front of the building waiting for you.

“Way to be late to your own moving in party.” Hyungwon teases. You thump him on the forehead. He notes that Kihyun has taught you well because your flicks feel just as painful as his,

“Knock it off oppa. It’s Kihyunnie’s fault anyways he was taking forever to shower.” You defend. 

“ _Kihyunnie _?” Minhyuk raises an eyebrow and Kihyun knows despite how much yelling he does or death glares he gives the guys will never let the nickname go.__

__“Yes, only I can call him Kihyunnie though.” Your arms wrap tightly around Kihyun as you kiss his cheek. He hates it, absolutely so, he hates PDA and you kissing his cheek in front of his Hyungs and sunbaes is the signature on your death certificate._ _

__“Why would we want to call him Kihyunnie? Gross.” Changkyun bends over, fake retching. Wonho doubles over in laughter, Shownu hides his, and the other boys have started moving the stuff out of the car._ _

__Per usual, after fun comes work. The eight of you work hard to unpack and arrange the apartment. Furniture is unpacked and put together, groceries are put in their correct place, surfaces are scrubbed clean and by the time everything is finished it’s almost 8pm._ _

__For helping, you and Kihyun cook a family dinner for everyone. Bulgogi, one of your favorites and Chumchrum is passed around the table as if it’s thanksgiving. The conversations range between reminiscing good and bad times to joking to compliments and talent shows. A tinge of guilt strikes your heart when Shownu makes it known they need to get back to the dorms._ _

__That’s when things quickly turn solemn; Kihyun, their brother, their mother, their best friend, won’t be coming back with them. There won’t be anyone to wake them up or clean up after them. No one to cook dinner or lunch, to nag them. They’ve entrusted Kihyun to you but even though he’s not in their dorm, he’s only ten minutes away. Finals goodbyes are exchange along with well wishes and entrustment and for a while, while you’re cleaning things are silent._ _

__“You okay?” You ask from the dining room when the dishes are clean and it’s just you two left_ _

__“I love you.” He engulfs you in his arms. Although he wants this more than anything, not being with them hurts. It hurts as much as loosing you. He can’t stand his members sometimes but they’re all he’s known for years. Through thick and thin they’ve always been together._ _

__“Oh Kihyun. I love you too. “You press your lips to his jaw and when he looks down at you, they’re on his, “You are the thing I want more than anything in the world. I could never love or want someone as much as you.” You whisper between fleeting touches and kisses. Kihyun’s mouth finds your neck, your collarbone, your cheek, your forehead before coming back to your lips._ _

__“I could never want anyone more than I want you. I could never love someone as much as I love you. Ever. “he whispers back, voice cracking,” Never leave me. Pretty girl let me make love to you. Please, consummate this relationship, this new beginning?”_ _

__“Please baby that’s all I want, you know I love you. You can have me but be gentle tonight, yeah?” Nipping at his lip softly, your hands find the band of his pants. Kihyun draws a kiss from your lips before lifting you up on the dining room table. The two of you lock lips as Kihyun unbuttons his jeans working to get his pants down._ _

__“I love you too baby girl, so so much. I’ll do whatever you want me to just let me have you okay, that’s all I’ll ever ask for?” He groans when your hand wraps around him, pumping softly, keeping your lips pressed to his. Kihyun shifts so he can lay gentle kisses on your neck. His hand slide into your elastics, rubbing your clit gently before jutting two fingers inside of you, working you open._ _

__“You look so pretty like this.” He breathes, sucking a mark into your skin. The feeling makes you throw your head back and kihyun takes the opportunity to rush your bottoms off._ _

__“I know you love to swoon over me but I rather you do that later.” The statement makes your boyfriend laugh, rolling his eyes he pulls you closer to him._ _

__“I can swoon over you and fuck you at the same time you know? It’s not hard when you’re as pretty as you are.” he counters, sliding into you. Your teeth sink into your bottom lip to hold back a squeal when Kihyun bottoms out._ _

__“Oh my god.” The phrase leaves your lips when Kihyun starts to rock his hips against your own. His forehead rest against your own, breathes mixing as he keeps his pace is slow. One his hands rest on your shoulder and the other holding your right leg around his waist, letting Kihyun thrust deep into you, steal pleasure from your being as if it’s the fruit of life._ _

__“−So pretty, you make the prettiest faces when I love you like this.” His statement comes through clenched teeth, his voice drunk with pleasure. Kihyun keeps slow but fucks you deeply, hitting the base of you, just short of your cervix before pulling all the way out._ _

__His thrust have your head dizzy, the sex between you is rarely this slow, this passionate, this needy. The want for validation is so desperately written in the air between you two that it begs to be acknowledged “So so pretty and you’re all mine too, I’m so lucky. −Never let you go, never let anyone take you from me.” He breathes through clenched teeth. The sharp hitching of his breath throws you further into the abyssal, farther into reaching your climax; The thing you’ve been wanting since you started this little escapade._ _

__“Oh god please Ki.” You breathe, head thrown back against the table, back arched, hands gripping at Kihyun’s head, arms, forceps any skin you can get your hands on. He speeds up, he leans over to kiss you, tongue swiping against your bottom lip, begging for entrance._ _

__“How do you feel baby?” Kihyun ask. The only response he receives is the repetitive loud moaning of his name. He feels his orgasm near and increases his speed so that he can draw your own first. Kihyun never leaves you unsatisfied, it’s rare he lets himself come first knowing you haven’t had at least one orgasm. He’s far from a selfish lover._ _

__“I feel good Ki, please don’t stop. Please baby.” When kihyun scoops you up in his arms, you feel as if your end is near. He fucks into you, keeping your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, teeth staying sunk into your neck._ _

__That’s when you feel it rip through you, taking every puff of breath from your lungs and forcing it out through the cry of his name._ _

__“Ahh baby. So good, You’re so good to me.” He fucks you through your orgasm, shoving his tongue into your mouth, swallowing noises only someone who was dizzy with pleasure could make. He isn’t far behind you, laying your body on the table, spread eagle, fucking into you as if you’re about to slip away from you him._ _

__The boarder of oversensitivity is crossed when you come again. The parting of your lips, the tears that spill down your cheeks, and the way your body clenches around him draws Kihyun to his end. He comes with your name on his lips. The sweetest of wines, the destroyer of men, you name, your beauty, your face, you: it’s something Yoo kihyun can never get enough of. He’s drunk off your kiss, off your body, off of the way your eyes glisten in the moonlight that shines through the sun window._ _

__“You’re all I’ve ever wanted in my life. I never felt as though love or marriage was for me but with you, I’m weak. I want every stereotypical, stupid, cliché thing girls who wear pink and dress up as princesses for their birthday’s do. I want you, I want you forever Yoo Kihyun, can I have you?” You breathe, back against the table. Kihyun doesn’t respond, instead choosing to move you to the couch so the two of you can cuddle under a blanket while watching a random Netflix Kdrama._ _

__“Was That−Did you…Did you just propose to me.” Kihyun asks, arms wrapped around your waist, chin resting on your head._ _

__“If you want it to be then it is?” You say, resting against his chest. The two you have redressed, well at least somewhat; Him in his boxer briefs and you in one of his extra-large shirts._ _

__“It’s just that I had something planned tonight. I just got caught up in the sex that I forgot I had hid this thing in the couch. I was planning to give it to you before the guys left but I guess better late than never.” Kihyun’s hands busy themselves in between the cushions of the couch before pulling out a box. You can see the red of embarrassment painting his face, it almost makes you cry._ _

__“Everything I’ve ever wanted in a woman…in a wife, is in you. From your flaws, to your perfections, to your looks, I’ve never seen someone who could even compare to you. There’s not a thing I don’t love about you, even when you’re angry, even when you’re getting on my last nerves, there’s not a second of the day I’m not in love with you. I wanted to wait until you graduated next week but I need you to be mine now, I need you to say yes baby, so I can love you officially. So, I can take care of you, so I can love you the only way I know how.”_ _

__“I’ll say yes to yours if you say Yes to mine, but you have to say yes first so I can gloat to my friends that I proposed to you.” You joke but your voice cracks with every syllable. Through humor is the only way you’ve learn hide tears of sentiment, you’ve never wanted to be seen as weak but Kihyun breaks down years of walls, years of protection into dust. He forces his way into every secret you’ve hidden behind platinum locks and holds them against his lips as ransom. Ransom for your love, for your trust, for your care, for your protection, and you give it to him knowing that at any moment he could break you, destroy, you expose you._ _

__“God, I can’t stand you, why can’t you ever be a normal girlfriend, why do you always have to make my life so difficult?” Kihyun whines. You stick your tongue out before the two of your burst into laughter. When your lips connect only god could have predicted that the two of you would say yes at the same time._ _

___That’s how in sync you are−_ _ _

__“I love you always.” You nod a yes as Kihyun wipes tears from your eyes,_ _

___−But that’s how much the two of you know each other, that’s just how in love you are._ _ _

__“I love you in this life and in the next and the one after that.”_ _

___−But that’s just your dynamic ]_ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I’m gonna explain why this is the end. Any of you who follow me on Wattpad (_Saccharin) should know this: but usually I divide things into arcs when I write continuity works/books like this. So, this is the end for J E A L O U S Y But the next one for Kihyun and you will be B E A U T I F U L which’ll focus on your life as a graduate and as Kihyunnie’s fiancé ofc and depending on how well Beautiful does then we can take it further, but only if you guys want it. I really don’t like writing proposals because I don’t believe in marriage but for some reason I had to the urge to write it
> 
> Hope you all enjoy and remember the ask box/DM’s/comment section is always open for suggestions, request, critique, or ask . Much love <3

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone thanks for reading. I hope you all liked it and please comment and tell me how I did and if you have any plot suggestions. Also Kihyun is 24 in this FF and the MC is around 20 years old. So they have an age gap but it isn't huge. He's her oppa fr fr. ;) 
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> Please comment and hopefully I'll see you back for the next chapter !


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